Student Guide To A Healthy Relationship Plus Red Flags To Look Out For

Written By: Katherine Balbin

High school relationships can have their ups and downs. Even before the start of a relationship, it is complicated. You don’t know if you’re ever going to make it out of the “talking-stage” and into an official, exclusive, relationship. After finally getting into a relationship, it can still be nerve wracking because you don’t completely know the person. You could also be blinded by the rosey-love tinted glasses that we all have at the start. From the talking-stage, to the honeymoon phase, to the post-honeymoon stage and arguing stage, relationships can be a rollercoaster to deal with. These are some tips to keep in mind to achieve a healthy relationship! 

  1. Communication is key!

Boring but essential is communication. If your partner is doing something you don’t like, makes you upset, or uncomfortable, you have to speak up. If you don’t have a conversation, what they’re doing won’t stop. How will it be fixed if nothing is done to fix it? Also, it is to note that talking over text is not the same as in person. Tones can be interpreted differently in text, if it’s not actually said out loud. You could have said something that can be taken as rude over text when that’s not what you meant. Emotions can’t be 100% expressed or understood over a screen. So when you do communicate, try to do it in person. 

  1. Trust your partner 

Trust is a big factor for a healthy relationship. Nowadays we can’t just trust our significant other in person, but also over social media. With Snapchat having a setting that will delete chats after 24 hours and having a “my eyes only” option, it is very easy to sneak around without them having a clue. If the person you’re with is not opening their phone in front of you or deliberately moving the phone away so you cant see it, that can be a red flag. The person should be comfortable opening their phone in front of you. It may seem miniscule and meaningless but can turn out to be a sign of a larger problem. However, needing to be called every hour, needing all the passwords should not be okay either. Relationships can turn toxic very fast if you let it. There is already so much toxicity with peers,  no need to have it in a relationship too. 

  1. Beware of the “icks”

Now, on to something that originated from TikTok: “Icks.” According to Urban Dictionary, “ick,” means “something someone does that is an instant turn-off.” They will eventually come up in a person. People are flawed and have embarrassing moments sometimes. Instead of immediately dropping them, realize that you too probably have something that is too embarrassing to admit outloud, even to yourself. No one is perfect, unless it is something incredibly disturbing or gross then yes you should probably run. 

High school can be challenging with having to deal with academics, friends that can carry drama and romantic relationships. Starting to get into relationships can be exciting and thrilling. However,  having any type of toxic relationship can be really damaging emotionally and physically. Especially at a young age, where the mind is developing. Learning the right way to have a healthy relationship and to accept healthy love at a young age is really important for future relationships. It can show what to accept and what to confidently, with no doubt say no to. It is to note that every relationship is different, everyone has different values. Boundaries can vary depending on the relationship. It is just important to talk about what you want and what you don’t want. High school is a period to grow, experience new things, and to also learn from past mistakes. 

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